"You are your BIGGEST Investment."
When you think about investing into yourself, what comes to mind? Well, investing isn't always about money. It could mean you take time and effort to make something better.
More recently I've realized that all the productive habits I once had are all but things of the past. In fact I almost feel like I've lost a little bit of myself when I think back.
Sometimes life gets in the way, and changes start to sink in. Learning to adapt to changes and finding small ways get back on track takes time. But those small steps can make a huge difference in the long run.
Here are 10 ways I am investing in myself!
"ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE IS ALSO KNOWN AS PREOCCUPIED ATTACHMENT, MEANING THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BECOME PREOCCUPIED WITH HOW THEY ARE PERCEIVED BY YOU AND ARE PREOCCUPIED OVERANALYZING THE RELATIONSHIP RATHER THAN ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING" THANKS GOOGLE
What I've learned is that an anxious attachment can result from when one or both of your parents were inconsistent with meeting your needs as a child. (Therapy has been very helpful btw. Highly recommend.)
It could mean your "caregiver" didn't always pay close attention to your needs. You experienced your caregiver as inconsistent or untrustworthy. You could have even had a good upbringing, but having those inconsistent feelings could result in AAStyle. Maybe you didn't get the attention or nurture you needed. And if you resonate with any of this, you could have an anxious attachment style.
When I first heard all this, I was shocked that the question as to why I have such strong feelings of insecurity in relationships even as a grown adult were just point-and-blankly answered.
I think about my dad when I was a kid. And the harm he did when overtime, became neglectful and abusive in my childhood. And I even think about the position it put my mom in. It made her not present. It made her anxious. It turned her on survival mode. And not only did it affect the relationship I had with my dad, it affected the one with my mom too.
And writing this I realize just how many people do not know this about my life because I've kept so much of my life private in fear of someone not believing my experiences, or not relating at all and judging my life. But you know what's real? The long-lasting effects it has on my day-to-day life. So ya, there's that.
SOMEONE WITH ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE MIGHT THINK OR FEEL:
Let's be real here. Do you relate to any of these? Because I relate to several.
And while not only having one of these problems makes you a bad person (even though they're really not good), the point is how excessive are we thinking, feeling, or doing these things? Are you causing more harm than good? If anyone hasn't said it yet, I'm sorry you have this problem. Because I personally know what it results from, I understand that your intentions are not to hurt someone. And I know that feeling of insecurity not just from relationships, but even more in yourself as a person.
The important thing is recognizing the things you're doing, and working hard to make better habits that lead to a healthier relationship.
So starting with the obvious, as a single person you would do better to look for a partner with the secure attachment style. Because it's really hard to create healthier habits in a relationship when they're doing the same problems back to you. Not impossible but very hard.
THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME
Self Soothing Techniques:
Why should you unlearn over-reaction? For starters, your partner does not deserve to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you all the time. They deserve love the same way you do. Second, you become less credible. Kind of like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Overtime, your outburst make you less believable. It makes it harder for others to listen. Over-reactive can lead to not being respected the way we need. You can find understanding and compromise with a mild-temper.
Enjoyed this article? Read one of these!:
Being organized can help increase productivity in your life and help you stay ahead of the more important things. We only have 24 hours each day. So instead of wishing we had more time in the day, let's look and see how we can utilize those hours so we're not wasting our days away and constantly being busy.
[ 1 ] MINDSET
Instead of thinking, "Monday I'll start _______!" or "My ______ starts tomorrow!" Start right now!
The truth is we can not rely on motivation alone to achieve our goals. Self discipline really come's into it's role when we're wanting to make better changes. The more self disciplined we are, the more motivated we become!
[ 2 ] NOURISHING YOUR BODY
Eating the right foods that keep your body and mind healthy.
Here's an article on where to start!
NUTRIENT RICH FOODS
[ 3 ] ACTUALLY KEEPING UP W/ YOUR WATER INTAKE
This is an obvious statement but water is an essential part of the day. But why? Drinking enough water helps reduces risk of stroke, heart attacks, and lowers cholesterol levels. It also reduces ache and water retention, aging lines, toxins in the body, and increases our energy. So ya, pretty important. And this is only a few things.
"The better we will feel, the better we will perform."
[ 4 ] STAYING ACTIVE
Staying active and more importantly having a good routine with your healthy activity.
This doesn't have to be anything out of your comfort level! Even going on a simple walk can help you stay active. When you have a good routine, it will be easier to keep up with your physical activity. You can dedicate certain days, mornings or evenings for this.
"Okay. Every other night I'm going to do 30 min of easy yoga or stretching." "I will dedicate every Tuesday and Thursday evening for a 30 min walk!"
[ 5 ] MAKING GOALS AND WRITING IT DOWN
Start with achievable goals. Realistic goals. Then move on to goals that require more effort. Then last, set yourself long term goals that you have to put in work to get. And continue setting goals even after you achieve them.
Always have something to look forward to. Write them in a journal to keep track of your progress or on a vision board that you can see everyday.
[ 6 ] PLANNING AHEAD
Agendas are my best friend. And the cool thing is you don't even have to buy an agenda or calendar. You can print them off of google for free!
Keep track of when you want to achieve goals, what days you're going to exercise or gym days.
Plan all this out in advanced that way you can mentally prepare for the days you've set aside and to track how well you're doing.
One way to keep track of progression is do what's comfortable for you one month and keep record.
For example, take a calendar and if you went to the gym only 2 times this month, try to aim for 3 times next month and so on. After 6 months you can look at the past 6 calendars and see that you actually went more times than you did the first month!
It's rewarding to physically see your progress!
[ 7 ] SELF DISCIPLINE
And lastly like mentioned before, do not solely rely on motivation to accomplish your goals. Rely on self discipline. Maybe this looks like waking up every morning and making sure the first thing you do before doing anything else is making your bed.
Do you enjoy making your bed? Probably not. Does this small act of self discipline help you achieve larger acts of self discipline? Yes! Start realistically.
Work your way to becoming the best version of yourself you can be.
REWARD YOURSELF (IN IMMODERATION) WHEN YOU ACHIEVE A GOAL
TAKE PROGRESSION PICS OR PHOTOS OF ACHIEVEMENTS
KEEP A LOG OF YOUR PROGRESS
FILL YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA FEED OF THINGS YOU WANT TO OBTAIN.
- EX.) FITNESS, HEALTHY FOOD, MENTAL HEALTH, POSITIVITY.
MAKE A VISION BOARD
FIND A REALISTIC ROUTINE FOR YOU. WRITE IT DOWN
START WITH SMALL GOALS
FUEL YOUR BODY W/ WHAT IT NEEDS
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I think covid really took a number on all of us. I've realized I've actually gained way more weight in the past two years! While I'm working on my fitness journey to get back into the groove of things, here are 12 REALISTIC ways to stay motivated for the gym!
1) HAVING A GYM BUDDY
For a lot of people, having a partner to go with can make it less intimidating, and it can help keep you accountable. Some work better when they have a someone to go with.
2) ORGANIZE ORGANIZE ORGANIZE!!!"
I don't have time for exercise!" I totally get that it can take a lot of time out of your day! Maybe you don't live close to a gym. Or maybe where you live, traffic can prevent you from going to the gym as much as you'd like to. But I guarantee if you really sit down and calculate how much time you spend watching Netflix or spending time on your phone, you might discover there are areas you can make time.
One tip that has helped me a lot is I prepare a gym bag and leave it in my car that way after work I don't have to go through the trouble of going home and changing just to drive again to the gym. It's one way that helps give that little push like, "Well I didn't really feel like going today but since I already have everything I need.."
You can even keep track on a calendar the days you're available to go, or the time you're able to set aside to exercise. My working hours are different each day. The days I know I'll work long late hours I reserve for rest. But the days I know I'm off at a reasonable time I set that day aside for the gym. Go print out a cute calendar on google and start organizing! You can even keep track of your water intake or meals you'd like to make through the week to keep yourself accountable for achieving a more healthier you.
3) CHANGE IT UP!
After so long of doing the same old routines you usually do, the gym can get boring. So make sure you're trying new routines and changing it up. Youtube has so many different exercise routines that you can even do at home. Switch it up!
4) DIFFERENT SCENERY
You don't even have to go to the gym to get a good workout in. You can go for a walk, go hiking, rock climbing, or even join a class. Changing up your routine is going to help keep things exciting and you just might find something your more passionate about. There are so many different things you could do like Zumba classes, bootcamps, and crossfit. And a lot of these places have a first class free to just try out. Some communities offer free Zumba classes every week!
"Even a slow walk is better than sitting on the couch"
5) DON'T OVER DO IT. PERIOD.
I remember the times I would spend anywhere from 1-2 hours total at the gym. And while maybe that worked for me at one point in time, that certainly does not work now. That's a lot of time for me at the gym. I remember when I spent that much time, I felt like I had to go that long or the workout wasn't effective.
I once heard that you don't always have to workout to the point you're sore and that was a completely different perspective for me. So something I tried was only allowing myself a certain amount of time at the gym like 30-45 min. I even set an alarm that way I knew when it was time to wrap it up and go! And surprisingly this has helped me tremendously. I don't feel as much pressure to stay so long and make myself so sore the next day and it felt much more enjoyable at the fact I still had the evening to myself! This is probably the most effective tip that has helped me to be more regular at the gym.
6) MUSIC 🎧
This is probably a no-brainer but the music you listen to can greatly impact how well you workout or how motivated you are to work out.
I have a few different gym playlist and change them up when I start to get annoyed or over hear a certain song. The less time you're spending skipping over songs the better motivated you will stay.
Spotify has a really cool feature that plays continuous music according to how much you're moving. I remember the times I went running, this came in handy because the music never stops to go to the next song and it kept up with the beat of how fast or slow I was running. Pretty neat!
My other playlist are warm up music. Cool down music. And music where I had a bad day and need super up beat and rock music to jam out to.
8) DO IT FOR MORE THAN JUST HOW YOU LOOK
I will not sit here and invalidate wanting to work out to look better. I totally get that and I also think there's nothing wrong with it. That's normal! And S-A-M-E.
While at the same time, try to see if from a different point of view and it might just keep you motivated on the days you feel you're not as encouraged. I try to keep my health as my number one main priority as to why I exercise. I think if I don't start taking better care of my health, it will be even more difficult the longer I wait. I want to feel good. I want to have energy and stay as healthy as I can. Diabetes runs in my family and I see myself so fortunate to have so many different avenues to take care of my health.
Last year I dedicated a lot of time to my mental health and made so many improvements, now I would like to start nourishing my body the way I should and making my health a priority. Start investing in YOU.
I've noticed that when I eat more healthier I'm that much more motivated to keep up with my healthy habits and exercise.
I am not really a person who find these extreme diets to be sustainable personally, however I do know the little changes I can make each day that will better nourish my body. So may that be cutting back on certain things, or substituting foods for a more better and healthier option can be a great start. 10) LIMITS: ARE THEY WORTH IT?- I am only going to speak from experience. I think there's not a single answer that works for everyone. But something I notice is if I really restrict myself from certain foods and drinks (Talking about D-I-E-T-S here), it only makes me want those foods more. Which is silly, I know!
But I have found more success in allowing myself what foods I am craving but making sure everything is in ✨immoderation ✨Making sure not to over do it. And finding more better alternatives that I actually like and healthy recipes that actually taste good. I always see diets that basically are like, only chicken, rice and salmon.. And yes of course that can work for some people but thats way too boring for me. It's not realistic for my taste. I love food so I allow myself things I like I just try hard to not overeat or eat too much.
When I'm eating good, I feel good. This helps me stay motivated to be active!
11) ROMANTICIZE YOUR LIFE. YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER.
"Romanticize your life, take pretty pictures, feel like the main character, light up a candle, read books, go for a walk, dance to your favorite music, buy yourself presents, do whatever you want, be happy- this is your life, don't let. anyone take that from you." -Parisandior
I honestly love this quote. Because the most important person in your life is YOU. So if it makes you happy to take cute aesthetic photos, try new healthy restaurants, or anything that might seem mundane for others, do it! Maybe it's finding a really cute gym outfit that motivates you. I find it oddly satisfying to cook good foods and set them up like I'm a chef about to prepare to judges. Cooking is like a fun hobby for me and I enjoy having pretty foods to look at and eat. And I totally take photos of all the pretty foods I make or buy no matter how simple because I find it pretty and encouraging!
I'll watch these little videos of people who seem like they have their lives together because they wake up early, make their bed, eat a healthy breakfast, meditate, yoga, smoothie or acai bowls, exercise... You know the videos I'm talking about. It seems those girls are so well self disciplined. But it's because they honestly put themselves as a priority, romanticize their lives and find beauty and happiness in mundane simple things. And I'm here for it.
12) LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
I'm going to keep this sweet simple and to the point.
If you're hungry, eat. If you're full, stop eating. If you're sleepy, sleep. If you're tired, rest.
To continue with the last few tips about eating, it is absolutely necessary to fuel your body. Do not send your body in to shock or starvation thinking that's what;s going to help you "Lose weight" if that's one of your goals. Your body is your permanent home. Take well care of the. foundation. Listen to what your body is telling you. Are you thirsty or dehydrated? Are you hungry? Are you tired and need rest? Treat your body with love and kindness as you would another person.
Having a healthy relationship with your body will help you stay motivated.
WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND OFFER A PIECE OF ADVICE? HERE ARE THE ONES THAT PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BENEFITED ME THE MOST.
[ 1 ] TRUST IN YOURSELF MORE
In this world you're going to run into many people who make you doubt yourself and your ability. But I wish I had learned to have confidence in myself much earlier in life. If I could tell myself this, it would be to trust in my ability more. Even if there's a chance to fail. Because failure is also necessary.
And yes, other people may not understand you sometimes. Not everyone is going to agree with you. People disagreeing with you, or being disappointed in you does not dictate the outcome of your decision. The older you get you really do know what's best for you and your mental health. Be confident in your decisions.
You're also going to be wrong sometimes but being wrong also helps you learn and grow.
"Doubting yourself is normal. Letting it stop you is a choice."
[ 2 ] LISTIN YOUR INSTINCT
There's a reason you get a funny feeling from certain people. And it becomes evident later on.
While it's always nice to give the benefit of the doubt and give people chances, if you have a uneasy feeling about someone, listen to this. Because you don't get this feeling often, it's important to take a step back in moments like this.
[ 3 ] HEARTBREAK
Your first heartbreak won't be from a boyfriend. Yes you will feel sad in when a boyfriend turns into an ex, but you work through it.
The first real heartbreak is losing someone close. Not once but twice. But this time it's permanent.
And you're going to grieve hard and silently.
You will think about all the things you wish you could have done. But the truth is there was nothing you could have done to change the circumstance. And the sooner you understand that the sooner you can start healing.
So when the second time comes around, really appreciate those moments left. Because it goes by much quicker than you realize. Take more pictures. Hug more. Talk about paradise even more.
[ 4 ] PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE YOU
You have a strong personality and there's nothing wrong with it. But you will cross paths with people who simply don't like you for you.
Don't take it personal and move on. Some people are going to find you loud and annoying. Some people are going to find you shy and boring. The good thing is it's not your job to make anyone like you. So learn to let it go.
Don't go out of your way to make people like you. You don't deserve to go through that much pressure with people you don't click with anyways! Your time is valuable and precious too.
[ 5 ] LOVE
You have always been very cautious of love and will be for a long time. You will doubt if real love exists. And you will doubt if you're going to actually open up to anyone enough to have a relationship.
You will be heartbroken multiple times. But time really does heal all wounds.
[ 6 ] FRIENDSHIPS
You're going to gain many friends and lose many friends. As you get older you will learn it's not as important the amount of friends you have but the quality of your friends.
You will have friends go for different reasons. And you will try hard to keep these friendships alive. But friendship requires that kind of effort from both sides. And unfortunately this is rare. So when a friendship ends, sit back and think about if this friendship is really worth fighting for. Because chances are they're not a true friend for you anyways.
So instead of being sad when friendships end, just be happy for the memories. Don't dwell on it. You also deserve good friends too. Don't forget this.
[ 7 ] BATTLES
You're going to face many battles alone that no one will know. And my biggest piece of advice is to take control of your perspective.
This does not mean you can't take days to be sad or cry. But when it comes down to it, you truly have all the power of your emotions. There are going to be a lot of things out of your control. That's just the way life rolls.
So on the days you could be upset, angry, or annoyed, challenge yourself and your emotions. See if there is a different way to look at things or respond to things. You will be very surprised how the quality of life changes with this one simple action.
"WHEN YOU CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT IS HAPPENING, CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO CONTROL THE WAY YOU RESPOND TO WHAT IS HAPPENING. THAT IS WHERE YOUR POWER IS." -Chad R.
[ 8 ] MONEY
Of course it's never too late to start a savings. But reflecting back, I do wish I started my savings as soon as I started working rather than in my 20's. This would have been very beneficial! For example, as much as I wanted to pay for my first car in full, it just wasn't possible. Once you have a debt, interest will pile up and you end up paying way more though financing. Tough lesson to learn!
WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WILL TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF IF YOU COULD? COMMENT BELOW!
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Here are the top 10 things I've learned in my 20's!
[ 1 ] Life changes and how to view them.
- This is probably the most difficult thing I've learned. But learning to take control of my perspective is powerful.
Unfortunately, nothing in this life is permanent, and once you accept that you can learn to appreciate things more. And I'm not necessarily saying you can't be sad about changes, but learning to appreciate the time you previously had helps to move on and feel happier about it.
For example, a friendship could end. You can spend a great deal of time thinking about how it didn't work out and harp on sad feelings or angry feelings or how they hurt you. Or you can appreciate every person that enters your life and appreciate that time you had together. Nothing is really ours to keep forever in this world. So instead I can think, "We might not be friends now, but she/he helped me through a period of my life and I'm forever grateful to have that experience."
[ 2 ] No one actually knows what they're doing.
- When you compare yourself to other people, it's easy to get intimidating by how put together their life is. What I've learned is even the most perfect people have problems or skeletons in their closet. No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. No marriage is perfect.
We're all figuring life out and we all have insecurities. Knowing this has helped me to not be so hard on myself.
[ 3 ] Some people have an advantage over you. And by some, I mean probably a LOT.
- Some people might accomplish things you wish to have accomplished at an earlier age. Sometimes this is because they had different circumstances than you. And that's ok! Maybe they have the resources available and you never did.
So once again, comparing yourself to people is very unfair to you. But the truth is, there is NO age limit to accomplishments. There is no rule book that says you have to accomplish certain milestones at certain ages. And I think the more people I meet, the more I realize that everyone is on their own path. We accomplish things at different times in our lives.
I felt this when it came to so many things like moving out, to having a financially stable career, even to getting baptized in my faith. I felt I was so far behind the normal, that there was something wrong with me or I wasn't doing good enough and ended up just discouraging myself more. But I now have the confidence to say all those things happened at the exact time in my life it was suppose to. And I wouldn't change a thing. I only wish I was much more gentle with myself when it came to those things.
[ 4 ] How to appreciate things.
- Not that I never appreciated time or things, but it wasn't until 2020 that I realized how to truly appreciate things.
It wasn't until I went from 40 hour working week to 16 hour working week to appreciate how I am so fortunate to have a job and money to pay bills. It wasn't until I saw for the first time the grocery stores isles wiped clean and not restocked for several months to appreciate cooking and having something to eat every day. It wasn't until I saw people dying from a pandemic that I realized I needed to be more mindful of every action I take.
I remember seeing articles of people's loved ones dying, and their family not being able to hold or comfort them because they too would get infected. It made me appreciate that my dad died in 2019 instead of 2020. Otherwise maybe the circumstance could have been even worse than the terrible it was. He was constantly in and out of hospitals. Maybe he would have always been there alone.
I really learned to appreciate the things that I didn't think much about before because it was so routine for me, but now I'm thankful everyday to have these things. It's given me a happier view point in life.
[ 5 ] You will never regret being kind.
- This is in no way me saying I am always kind haha. I am not perfect! But I can honestly say every time I've taken a mental step back and determined how to deal with a situation, I have NEVER regretted taking the more kind approach. But I have regretted taking a mean approach.
Simply when it comes to just responding to people. Maybe it's someone with a bad temper or someone treating you wrong. While you can definitely stand up for yourself, I've never felt, "Man.. I should have been more mean" No way! I have always felt more better about being kind to someone even if it didn't go the way I wanted. Or even when it comes to doing a random act of kindness. You always feel so good about making someone else feel good.
I remember one time I was in the Starbucks drive thru and the car in front of me payed for my coffee. It made my day so I asked to pay for the car behind me! And the barista at the window and the staff behind him started cheering saying how I'm the 14th person in a ROW that felt happy and wanted to pass it on to the next car. That is so insane!
Kindness is so contagious and that worker got to witness it 14+ times and was beyond excited haha. But it was really no effort at all. Yet all that made several people happy that day. I love that.
[ 6 ] Friendships don't work out. And it's not your problem.
- I've had a few friendships not work out for a few different reason in my life. And while I still care for those people to this day, I know it's for the better. I used to think that I have to be on good terms with every friend I cross paths with. But honestly? People are fighting their own battles and to my surprise I've actually had some really bad friends.
Which the funny part is, I don't really realize it in the moment. It's only after the friendship kind of comes to and end I realize, "Wait a minute.. They were actually an awful friend to me!" It kind of makes me laugh to know how oblivious I can be sometimes. But if a friendship ends, and you end up feeling happier about it? Yea.. Chances are they were not a good friendship match for you. And that's totally fine.
Sometimes people are going to find a reason to treat you wrong due to their past experiences. Sometimes they self sabotage and no matter how much you try to help, they treat you as an enemy. Sometimes they just point blankly treat you really bad.
Or maybe they make different life choices that don't align with your own morals that make you incompatible. And honestly that's totally okay. You don't have to make a good connection with everyone you come across no matter how much you want to! There's nothing wrong with you, and maybe there isn't anything wrong with them. It's just not a good match.
I'm not really one to burn a bridge, but I can also better understand when a friendship isn't healthy. I think it's important to work through things as best you can, but if it's at the point where you know it's bad, maybe it's time to reconsider the association. But most of the time when two mature adults can talk about and work through their problems, and show mutual respect to one another, you can work through the ugly. But if one refuses, that's just not your problem.
[ 7 ] Being aware of your physical health is important.
- Unhealthy weight gain happens in the blink of an eye, and all of a sudden physical activity can take a lot out of you. And I know most people reading this is laughing knowing I am only 25 and might think, "Yea wait till your 30 and see how bad it gets." which is exactly my point! I could eat fast food everyday and still have energy and motivation to go run 7 miles when I was 17. Now? What I eat greatly affects my overall energy and moods literally every day. And the thought of running is torture alone haha.
I don't like to admit, but I have notice a significant difference in my health from even just 5 years ago. The older you get, you begin to have other priorities and it's SO easy to put your health at the bottom of the list without even realizing it. I am still a pretty active person. But I have to be mindful and make sure I continue staying active and eating better because it sure makes a difference!
[ 8 ] Mental health is equally important.
- So I'm going to touch on experiences in a family environment, but mental health is important when it comes to battling depression, anxiety, and recovery.
When I was younger, I did not have the knowledge or resources as I do today. I realized therapy is actually necessary. Self kindness is so important. And understanding that this world we live in is wrong in so many ways. The normal in this world is actually not normal at all. (Buckle up because you're in for a reading)
A lot of families simply keep up with certain rules and traditions because that's how their parents raised them or that's how its always been for them. But in reality, each family line have toxic generational patterns that are learned as 'normal' from parent to child and generation after generation. But it can be incredibly damaging. And a lot of the time these people refuse to make changes and say other people are just sensitive or that's how they always do things so why should they have to change. They will find any reason to not correct their behavior or take responsibility because in their opinion it's normal. And while there is really no one way to parent, it's so important to recognize these toxic patterns so you are not passing it down you family line.
For example, maybe in your household it's so normal for parents to scream and fight or even get physical and hurt each other. So you in turn, as you get older, do this with your partner. Or another example, you watched your mother get physically abused by your father. And later you unfortunately find yourself in constant toxic relationships where your idea of real love is foggy with what you learned from your parents and you end up in the exact kind of relationship. The list of possibilities could go on. So what I've realized is we are all incredibly affected by the example our parents set for us. Or maybe because of these examples, you end up treating the ones you love wrong, or you raise your children the exact same way that hurt you as a child.
"When we learn to UNlearn these things, we could be saving our future family line from the damage we experienced."
And while on the subject, I've also learned that I can be toxic too. Honestly we all can. Yes it might be because we're a product of our own environment. But that's a reason, not an excuse. We all have the responsibility to make changes. This is something I learned that I have to continue to make changes when I notice myself doing something that isn't healthy. And I'm grateful to live in a time where we have more resources and outlets than ever in history. The stigma around mental health is changing and people are actually talking more about it and getting the help they need.
[ 9 ] You're going to feel alone sometimes.
- Life changes so quickly. And sometimes we can go through periods in life where we feel alone. But sometimes I might feel alone, I try not to get lonely. Strangely enough, I remember when I had the most amount of friends in my life is when I felt my most loneliness.
And now I'm a little more decisive about those closest to me and I feel more better. And honestly, It's pretty normal to go lengths of time without talking to friends or family sometimes. Life can get busy. And like i said before, nothing is permanent in this life. So getting used to doing things that make you happy while alone can help. But reaching out is always good too.
[ 10 ] What other people do and think is really a reflection of them.
- I'm sure you've heard this before. But it's true! If you're anything like I used to be, it's that if someone treated you bad, you think there has to be something wrong with you, or you had to have done something bad.
I see it two ways: 1 if you know you did something, and genuinely try to make things right and they still choose to be rude, that's a result of their own personality. Or 2, if you can't think of a single bad thing you did and you're losing sleep over it wondering why they are hateful towards you, I promise you did nothing.
Some people just have hate in their heart, or maybe are dealing with things we don't see and project it onto other people. Either way, stop thinking about it and move on. It's not our job to make people like us.
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Moving out can be exciting! I remember when I first looked for apartments, I wondered if a roommate would be right for me.
I read so many articles on experiences on what to do and what not to do. It can be tricky coming to terms with a new roommate.
So here are 3 things you should discuss before choosing who you live with!
If you have a roommate, you’re likely going to be splitting the bills 50/50. So it’s good to sit down and write out what all those bills might be. Here’s a list of bills to give you an idea:
1- Rent / Mortgage
7- Tv services
And other things like splitting the cost of furniture and groceries. Your own personal bills like Phone, Car, insurances..etc (Some apartments might include certain utilities with the cost of rent so make sure to ask)
Some things to consider is: What will you do or what happens if they can’t afford their portion that week? What happens if you have a late fee and it was not your fault? These are very possible things to consider with your roommate.
So you’re probably thinking if there’s only two of you it shouldn’t get that messy. Well I will let you know, your bathroom and kitchen will never stay clean. You will need some kind of schedule! Who will clean what? Will you take turns? How often will you both clean? Does your roommate pick up after themselves?
The last thing you want to do is argue about cleaning. You’ll be surprised that this could be a big problem, but the truth is if you’re doing most of the work and your roommate is slacking off, you’re not going to be happy in the long run. So discuss cleaning rules of the home. You’ll be happy you did this first instead of later when it’s a difficult conversation or it starts a argument
You both have different lives and different upbringings. This means you both respond to things differently. How will you both handle conflict? How will you talk about problems? If there is a problem, what’s the best method for approaching your roommate with respect? Yes you need to have a conversation of how to deal with problems of living together!
So choose your roommate carefully and make sure to talk about these things otherwise you might run into more problems later on!
"Both sides need to be comfortable enough to be able to open up about even the negative parts."
WHEN I HEAR SELF CARE, A COUPLE DIFFERENT THINGS COME TO MIND. I THINK SELF CARE CAN DEPEND ON WHAT YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH. FOR SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS WITH ANXIETY, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY OR EATING HEALTHY MEALS CAN BE SELF CARE OPTIONS. FOR SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS WITH DEPRESSION, TAKING A BUBBLE BATH, OR GETTING YOUR HOME CLEAN COULD BE SELF CARE.
SELF CARE LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE SO YOU SHOULD DO WHAT HELPS YOU. HERE ARE SOME SELF CARE IDEAS THAT HELPS ME.
[ 1 ] Physical
2 ] Emotional
[ 3 ] Reasonable
I challenge you to make 3 different checklists. Yes even write them out or type in your phone!
So whatever your self care may look like, I hope this gives you some ideas you can corporate into your life. Maybe you have to start small and that's good too as long as you start. It's not a bad thing to make yourself a priority!
Thanks for visiting my blog! Brookeosity is pronounced like Brooke + Curiosity combined. This is my Lifestyle blog based in Oklahoma. Here you will read about my love for Oklahoma, how I navigate through life as a twenty-something-year-old, and what motivates me! I write for women like myself who have transitioned to adulthood and are still figuring their lives out.